Welcome to WTF Hacker Hell

So, I never imagined being hacked would be so draining, consuming, and never ending. Long story short, some hacker twat entered my family's life presumably thru our cheap Cox (home cable provider) provided wireless router. This dude (or team of dudes) then proceeded to systematically infiltrate every device in our home from Androids to iPhones (YES iPhones 2 of them) to Mac desktops, to Amazon tablet. to smart TVs. He took over Google accounts, Yahoo email, all forms of social media (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snap Chat you name it. He accessed my mobile banking but never took a cent. He mirrored our devices screens and cast them to wherever he felt like. He had a keystroke logger that captured every key we pressed, passwords and all.  He controlled what web pages we viewed and often redirected us at whim. He decided which emails we received and when. He even altered menus on our devices so we could not enjoy entire functionality of our device. So for example you wanted to see which 3 devices were connected to your mobile hotspot he simply removed that option from our menu. My daughter, less experienced in phone functioning didn't even know menus were altered. He installed VPNs and enjoyed our apple music and app store accounts downloading what he pleased. He even accessed our devices cameras and microphones...he recorded us via video and audio. One video we recovered was the family all sitting around discussing the hacker. We were miffed at what this assholes motivation could possibly be, he even applied for jobs in our names and applied for unawarded loans too. We contacted our local police, they said they didn't have the budget to chase hackers unless large sums of money were taken, qour minor children were threatened, or national security was compromised. They suggested we contact cybercrime division of our FBI field office, done. No assistance there either. So we decided to just rid ourselves of his fuck ass and all of his shenanigans. So we contacted the cable company. They very quickly verified we did have a squatter on our Wi-fi and promptly replaced said wireless router. They educated us on security features and we used every one...to no avail. Hacker was back in business within 24 hours of new router set up. Then we tried wireless carriers. AT&T along with Apple were very difficult to convince we were actually hacked. Every rep began with the condescending "so what makes you think you've been hacked?" After explaining it about 20 times we had a pretty concise bullet to present. As time went on we were able to update our story with more convincing and meaningful evidence. The iPhones were taken to geniuses as well as AT&T...all of them clueless, absolutely clueless. We knew more about everything than they did. Phones were factory reset NUMEROUS times....no help. Hacker was back in action within moments. So finally my wife figured out dude was rebooting with the phone...he's at ground level resetting along with us. He had accessed the kernel of each phone, infiltrated it and rewritten the firmware to behave anyway he wanted. He was supplying all of the info we thought we knew about our phones from serial numbers to MAC addresses, we could trust nothing he controlled everything. And all of the password resetting in the world wouldn't ever help.  He had been ahead of us the entire time.  He had rewritten our phones to disobey us and supply erroneous information. Any setting we tried to enable on our phone (i.e. airplane mode) he laughed at, he had disabled it. So it showed us that it was on, but it never was. He blocked all of our calls and forwarded others, he listened in on the occasional call we could make but the clicks and echoes made it unbearable. AT&T replaced sim cards, no dice. FINALLY Apple agreed that our phones motherboards had been compromised and gave us two new devices. We were instructed to have carrier assign new phone numbers and break all ties with hacked anything. Well we do, but the second AT&T goes to boot up my wife's new phone here come her old voicemails from her hacked number. AT&T knew us by name and face by now, but when I tell you as soon as the wife said..."if the voicemails found their way so will the hacker" they acted like she was fucking crazy. He was back in the phones within 3 hours. Smartass AT&T's response to I told you so was "who did you piss off?" And then "we recommend you move." Sooo funny. Witness protection maybe? Hacker had used a proximity device possibly to infect iPhones from android at our house using bluetooth. Phones never accessed the home wi-fi and obeyed all now ingrained security practices to avoid such mayhem. We determined we will have to replace all three phones, toddler tablet, desktop MAC, and cable router all at the same time. Probably going to switch cell carriers and cable provider for good measure.  But in the meantime my wife got a new job, never accessed any personal accounts on work desk top nor did she ever partake of the company wi-fi knowing her phone is infected. This hacker bitch got into her work computer. Our location timeline with Google showed him driving by her place of work and even calling there at times. My wife is a nurse...since he accessed her computer with federally protected patient information within, now the FBI can legit get involved. HIPPA laws are no joke.  IT department confiscated her desktop after the obligatory "what makes you think you've been hacked." Her boss actually said there is "no way a hacker entered the system...do you know how many levels of encryption we employ?" Oh they were hacked alright mainframe and all. So now you are up to speed. But there is no way you know how exhausting and emotionally draining it is to be virtually stalked by this ass clown and not own your phone anymore. It takes all of the fun out of the mobile phone and leaves you paranoid, hypervigilant, isolated. and feeling so violated. As I type this now, hacker twat, as I like refer to him is sitting on my hotspot consuming ALL of my cellular data, to the tune of 14 gigabytes in under 30 days of billing. By the way, AT&T says they can't do ANYTHING about. So this bitch uses my 6 gigabytes in record time then they throttle me down so slow that it's not even worth it. Fuck him. He will see this and may even try and mess with it. Any typos are on him ;) more next time!